Nothing brings out early 2000’s nostalgia quite like Disney Channel’s original movies. With cheesy one-liners, questionable fashion choices, and a usually solid message for younger viewers, the network’s original films are a staple for a particular generation.
But not all of these movies are a smashing success. Whether it’s due to painful writing or dreadfully outdated slang, some fans can’t help but shudder when they look back on them. Some of these films may be able to survive the changing times, but not even the cutest tween celebrities can rescue others from being woefully dated.
10/10 The Acting And Story In Cadet Kelly Needs Some Retraining
Cadet Kelly may be a harmless tale about a young girl learning accountability, but some of its choices will cause anyone to wince. With overly hokey acting, it’s difficult to take the unfolding events seriously.
Although Christy Carlson Romano is a fine actress, she doesn’t sell a performance as an intimidating cadet captain. Instead, she often comes across as either uptight or mildly annoyed. Furthermore, the movie falls victim to some painful tropes, such as Kelly and her rival Jessica hitting on the same guy. Clichés like this one are unneeded, and, in this case, discomforting.
9/10 It’s Difficult To Jam Out With Camp Rock 2
Although Camp Rock has its fair share of cheesy moments, Camp Rock 2’s cringe-worthy elements make many fans of the original want to plug their ears. This film definitely falls flat with a stale message and characters who are too whimsical to be relatable.
While the first movie contains songs performed onstage, Camp Rock 2 is a full-blown musical, causing viewers to be thrown off when characters randomly burst into song. Moreover, Mitchie’s quirky personality is replaced with clumsy antics and forced smiles. While the film preaches a lesson about the love of music, its cookie-cutter characters completely contradict its moral, making it too gauche to revisit.
8/10 Twitches Loses Its Magic Over Time
Celebrity sisters Tia and Tamara try their best to show their magic in Twitches, but its premise may be too forced for even their best spells to repair. Despite the actresses’ comedic timing, some lines and effects are too painful to tolerate.
One particularly atrocious animation is the film’s representation of its main villain, the Darkness, which manifests in a puff of black and red smoke. While the foe is meant to be ominous, the CGI looks half-rendered and choppy. The film is sprinkled with irritating mannerisms, specifically the twins’ chant of “Go Twitches! Go Twitches!” With a juvenile style like this, any hope of magic is completely sucked out of the film.
7/10 The Characters in Descendants Don’t Live Up To Their Infamous Parents
Born from a concept that’s more lame than magical, Disney Channel’s Descendants is a reminder that sometimes a story should stop after happily ever after. Unfortunately, while the actors portraying the offspring of infamous Disney villains do their best to entertain, the story doesn’t give them much wiggle room.
Moreover, audiences may cringe when they see the interpretation of some of the most iconic Disney villains. This includes Maleficent, who trades her dark and threatening demeanor for a prissy personality and a tendency to crack unfunny jokes. The lackluster costumes and forgettable musical numbers only fuel fans’ disdain for this unneeded reboot of their favorite fairytale characters.
6/10 Teen Beach Movie Needs To Get Swept Away
Teen Beach Movie may be one of the most-watched Disney Channel original movies of all time, but its strange premise and borrowed storyline make it feel out of its depth. The primary conflict surfaces after main characters Mack and Brody are transported into the world of Wet Side Story – the movie’s embarrassing remake of West Side Story.
The characters they encounter on their journey are one-note and speak in generic lines that offer no clues about their personalities. While some musical numbers are catchy, it isn’t enough to shield viewers from the awkward storyline or its unrelatable heroes.
5/10 Halloween Town Is More Awkward Than Spooky
A mysterious town filled with mythical Halloween-inspired creatures seems to have potential, but Halloween Town depicts a setting that is difficult to watch – and not because it’s scary. Instead, the setting is riddled with horribly outdated special effects and cheap costumes that look like they are from a discount store.
Moreover, Kalabar, the main antagonist, is hardly threatening with his hammy overacting. What could have been a creative premise filled with spooky adventure is hampered by lame set designs and make-up that is hair-raising for all the wrong reasons.
4/10 Zenon 2: The Zequel Is A Corny Story In Any Universe
With a story as forced as its title, Zenon 2: The Zequel has a knack for offering up rough one-liners and painfully unnecessary conflicts. Like its predecessor, Zenon must face off against an authority figure and journey back to Earth. The resulting adventure lacks whimsy but is heavy-handed with outdated lingo and slapstick.
Zenon’s relationship with Margie, her nemesis, is particularly agonizing. Instead of using their interactions as a way to invoke humor, Margie is far too unpleasant to be enjoyable. She even tells her father that Zenon kidnapped her to get her in trouble. The sequel relies on forced plot points and recycled gimmicks while retaining none of the charm.
3/10 Hatching Pete’s Premise Is A Really Rotten Egg
Hatching Pete’s uncomfortable direction and even stranger writing steer its story completely awry. The movie begins with protagonist Pete attempting to ask out the girl of his dreams in typical awkward teenage fashion – until that subplot is completely abandoned without explanation.
Later, once Pete takes his friend Cleatus’ role as the school mascot, the rest of the movie is held hostage by his annoying dancing and unimaginative gimmicks. Even more bizarre, his irritating behavior wins over the school instantaneously, despite the students strongly despising the mascot. Hatching Pete may be out of the box, but its choices are too awkward to save this bad egg.
2/10 The Thirteenth Year’s Plot And Characters Flop
The Thirteenth Year harbors a story more uncomfortable than creative, and its bland characters certainly don’t lend a helping end. The plot centers around adopted teen Cody Griffin, who discovers he may be a mermaid after developing scales and aquatic features. His subsequent changes are off-putting, as audiences are forced to watch their main character go through an unsettling form of puberty.
This strange story is only exacerbated by an awkward romance between Cody and Samantha, and cheap designs for Cody’s mermaid flippers. While the movie may be harmless to younger viewers, older watchers will likely find the premise too fishy to stomach.
1/10 Can Of Worms Is Too Hideous To Reopen
From an outrageous plot to disgusting character designs, Can of Worms is a Disney Channel original that most viewers would rather forget. The acting is too overzealous to convey real human emotion, and the focus is nonexistent, making it challenging to identify the primary plot of the movie.
The main character Michael is convinced he is from an alien planet because he doesn’t fit in at high school, and most of the film depicts his various teenage woes. When aliens actually do arrive on Earth, their designs feature unsettling human teeth and slimy effects that are too gross to be fun. Can of Worms leaves behind more questions than answers, all of which are just too cringe-worthy to warrant contemplating.
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